Relena and Her Life
by Arashi Kishu-Kakushi No Miko
Summary: *Relena Bashing fic*


Relena and Her Life

Relena and Her Life

AN:Well this is a Relena bashing fic for all you Relena haters!And if you like Relena flame me or email me.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing (which sucks).I also don't own Relena (thank god!)

A cat went down the street and took a crap.Then it went over to see it's best friend Relena Dorlian Peacecraft and took a crap on her.Relena was happy to see her furry little friend (AN: and no the furry little friend isn't her ass.It's the cat) again.Relena was usually very lonely, so her cat gave her good company; especially when she did her daily stalk.She usually stalked Heero (her number one love) and Dorothy (her number two love).She liked Heero more so she stalked him more often.She loved Heero so much that she took pictures of him everywhere he went (even when he went to the bathroom ~_~;;) andput it on her neon pink bedroom walls.She also loves the color pink.She has her own special pink limo and she even wanted her faithful servant Pegan to wear a pink suit and dye his hair pink.Relena loves many things and people but is unaware that people hate her.She went to take a rest from her stalking.Stalking is very tiring and burns a lot of calories.She saw a picture on the fireplace of her and her father.She started to feel sad and tell him her feelings.

"Father I'm I foolish to love him?" she asked.

Then the ghost of her father came out.

"Yes.You're a dumb ass.The guy obviously doesn't like you and you obsessed over him.And I can see why he doesn't like you because if he did I would think he needs to go to a mental institution.And then you ask him to kill you.I can see why the Peacecrafts ditched you."

"Thank you father.I know he loves me."

"URG! You're so clueless!Screw you, I'm going back in my coffin." The ghost of her dad said and left.

"Alright.Farewell then." She said over dramatically waving her hand.

Relena sat there for I while thinking about what she did already during the day.

"Well, I think I did everything…. No wait, I have to do one more thing to complete my day."

She open the window and took a deep breath. 

"HEEEERRRRROOOOOOO!!!!!!! COME BACK TO MEEEEEE!!!!!!"

When she was doing her 'vocal exercises'.An old lady and her dog happened to pass her by.The dog was so stunned at the sudden ear tearing noise that it heeled over and died.The old lady was in shock herself.

"You stupid bitch!You killed my dog and broke my eardrums!" the old lady yelled.

"Oh hi Mrs. Robinson!" Relena replied over happily.

"Stupid freak." Mrs. Robinson mumbled and walked off.

"Oh I better have one last check to see what my Heero is doing."

She went over to Heero's apartment and saw Heero and the rest of the G-Boys as well as Noin, Zechs, Sally, Lady Une, Hilde, Catherine, and Dorothy.They happened to be discussing how do deal with Relena at the time.

"I can't take it anymore!She has to be killed.I can't even take a piss without knowing that she's taking picutures!"Heero yelled.

"We have to kill her I'm so ashamed that she's even related to me."Zechs said.

Everyone nodded.Right on time Relena burst through the door (literally).

"Hi everyone!! Can I join the party?" 

"No." everyone said at the same time.

Then all of then pulled out their guns at the same time and shot her.But it had no affect.

"What that's impossible!" Duo yelled.

"Wait I have an idea!" Wufei said.

"What is it?" they all asked.

"Well I was thinking of this bedtime story Sally was reading to me because I couldn't go to sleep.Well at the end this wicked witch got killed by pouring water on her and she melted."

Everyone looked at him weird.Duo started to crack up and Sally started to blush.

"Sally reads you bed time stories!! HAHAHAH!" 

"So…" Wufei said looking hurt.

"Well I think we should try it." Noin said.

"Yeah ok."

"That was fun!What are we going to play next!" Relena said jumping up and down.

They all came back with a bucket of water.

"Heero you do the honors." Trowa said.

"My pleasure."

Heero poured the water on Relena and she melted.

"Well now I know why she smells like crap.Because she'll melt if she takes a shower." Hilde said.

They'll nodded and had a party.

*~*The End*~*

AN: Review and FLAME!


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